#relics clown house

[heleneplays]

Iconic lines - Ch. 7, Relics 2: The Crusader's Tomb

Can I just say what powerful *fake_choice these flavor texts were??? bc it really seriously lives in my mind rent free. Like hello bestie the ENERGIES,,, aha they're so sexy

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[that-house]

The Tarrasque Can Blow Me or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Make 5e Bosses That Don't Suck

HI, I'm Catherine that-house, and I play Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition almost as much as I hate it. I do this because I am a sicko pervert who likes to tinker with abysmal dogshit, not because it's a good game. This screed is dedicated to everyone trapped in the same mine as me.

D&D 5e combat sucks! Here's the flow chart for your melee champion fighter's turn:

IF BAD GUY: smack bad guy

IF BAD GUY WITHIN 30 FT: move to bad guy, smack bad guy

IF LOW ON HP: second wind

IF NO BAD GUY WITHIN 30 FT: dash towards nearest bad guy

action surge, take it from the top

IF YOU'RE FEELING DARING TODAY: maybe a grapple or an item interaction

And pretty much any non-caster monster has a pretty similar flowchart: there's no real back and forth, just the same set of actions over and over and the only time you have to pay attention on someone else's turn is for an attack of opportunity maybe. Finally one side reduces the other side's number to 0, and you can get back to roleplaying in your roleplaying game.

In general, I strive to make my boss fights hard and interesting, with interesting being the more important of the two. For some reason the wicked clowns working at WOTC got it into their heads that the only ways to make a fight hard are Bigger Number and Less Counterplay. I don't have any data on how they sought to make fights interesting because as far as I can tell they were too busy siccing the Pinkertons on people like it's the fucking 1800s.

Probably not all 5e combat is like this. But, like, look at the statblock for the Tarrasque, the CR 30 "strongest monster in the game" and try to tell me that that thing looks INTERESTING to fight. Difficult? Maybe, if your stats are bad. But INTERESTING? It walks at someone and murders the shit out of them, then rinses and repeats. The fetid dog turd that is the Tarraque is the perfect example of the Bigger Number, and even its meme status as the DM's "fuck you" monster is eclipsed by later additions to the game.

The other end of the "strongest 5e statblock" spectrum is shit like Sul Khatesh from Eberron, who earns the title of "most bullshit" by being immune to nonmagic attacks and creating antimagic fields. This is progress, because you might force someone to grapple it out of the field or something so everyone can deal damage! But this is still ultimately a pretty linear fight, not unlike fighting any other caster in the game, but with Less Counterplay.

My DMing style is pretty character goal-oriented, with the occasional bullshit superboss. We sit around for a few sessions while people pursue side projects and gather information, and then I subject them to the Horrors of a 5e fight that requires things like "positioning" and "planning" from turn to turn.

When playing a high level D&D campaign with insanely bullshit homebrew magic items and character-specific custom mechanics, it becomes necessary to pull out the big guns. The biggest guns. I'm talking a gun like my boy Hierarch Ozyas, undead demigod, father of monsters and heart of a living city, who had a meaty 2000 hit points and took somewhere in the vicinity of thirteen rounds of combat to bring down. Building bosses is an arms race and it's my job to lose in style. Here's Ozyas' statblock:

The bitch himself

Anyways I've been talking for a bit without actually saying anything of substance besides making fun of the Tarrasque. Which I will do one more time:

...deep breath...

D&D 5e is a pretty widely-disdained game by pretty much anyone who's ever played more than one RPG system. I myself only play it because I enjoy game design, and the thoroughly-beaten dead horse that WOTC calls a game serves as a decent foundation to do a lot of heavy tinkering. The Tarrasque is perfectly emblematic of all of the trash I have to wade through in order to get to the stuff worth keeping: it is an uninspired, anticlimactic relic of the past that didn't even manage to cling to a shred of its old glory and is instead content to wallow in the filth of what it once was, never once providing a challenge to any character with a flying speed. I would probably attempt to beat it to death with my hands (and fail, because it checks your character's stats rather than challenging you as a player in any way), but Jim the 1st level aaracokra with a save-forcing damage cantrip already solo'd it for me, so I'll settle for chewing through the throat of whichever game designer forgot they were making a "game" and submitted a three step flowchart for D&D's ultimate boss monster.

But anyways, I promised you a guide to how I design boss fights these days, so let's get to that.

Actually, first here's a quick aside about action economy that I didn't bother finding a place to fit in elsewhere: legendary actions are basically a necessity for any boss past level five or so. One big action is going to be a lot more polarizing than several small ones (i.e. one big crit on a large attack could completely flip the course of the fight, whereas multiple smaller attacks offer the same amount of damage output in a more consistent fashion). If you don't want to give your boss a bunch of HP to make it live long enough to take a few turns, you could consider giving it two turns in the initiative order (reducing the damage per turn to keep the damage per round constant). Low health minions are also a good way to pad out action economy, and even if they're easy to kill they tend to buy the boss another turn or two just from the actions it costs to take them down.

ANYWAYS, here's the core ideas I like to focus on in my boss design:

Keep them moving

Keep them working

Keep things changing

Reward good play

Punish mistakes

Make it a game

Along the way I'll be using snippets of the boss I mentioned above to illustrate examples of these principles and how they affected play. Let's begin.

KEEP THEM MOVING Positioning doesn't really matter in 5e. AoEs and movement values are both so large that you can easily get away with not having a battle map and sorta just tracking "in melee" or "not in melee." I run most fights without a battle map and just kinda track that, but for a good boss you need a map.

But how do we keep the game from just falling back into "move into range and hurt people," you ask? Simple: the Zone of Nasty. The Zone of Nasty is something on the map that is going to hurt the PCs if they're in it, and the Zone of Nasty moves. Depending on the boss, it could grow, shrink, follow a player, follow the boss, alternate between areas of the map, whatever. Some bosses might have multiple different Zones of Nasty that move in different ways and do different things.

There are other ways to force movement besides a moving AoE, such as punishing players for being too close or too far from each other or the boss.

The general principle here is that a boss should at times force suboptimal play: optimal play involves simply standing around, spending all your actions on damaging the boss, and it's incredibly boring from a strategic standpoint. There should be turns in which your players have to spend their action economy on protecting themselves or helping their allies. If they find themselves in a Zone of Nasty, it should force a decision between suffering the consequences to continue optimal play, or spending resources to get out of it.

Our boy Ozyas had a Cancer Field that he could move slowly around the arena that damaged and debuffed PCs inside it, and Pretender-God-Piercing Strike, a telegraphed line attack that oneshot anything that stayed in its area too long (more on this one later).

KEEP THEM WORKING Everyone needs a job to do! This job is probably just going to be based on what their class and abilities encourage them to do, but it sucks for someone to not be able to meaningfully participate in a boss fight.

Let the DPS players kick the boss's teeth in, obviously, but make sure the person who focused on AoE effects has some extra enemies that they can deal with. Bonus points if the extra enemies have something that forces them to be dealt with instead of just rushing the boss' HP bar.

Worst case scenario, throw in a secondary objective like completing a ritual, controlling a point on the map, or fighting the boss' soul on a higher plane to give someone who isn't immediately needed for DPS to still have something to do.

Ozyas spawned a bunch of extra monsters from these gross Birthing Pillars around the map, and killing the monsters and destroying the pillars provided a nice secondary course of action for people either not equipped to slug it out with the boss or not currently positioned right to fight him.

KEEP THINGS CHANGING The tarrasque sucks because it does one thing over and over until it works or it dies. The Theros splatbook improved on this marginally: Mythic Traits are fucking baller! Combats should change over the course of the fight, or this could have been a fucking autobattler. But we can go further.

In addition to occasionally shaking things up based on health thresholds, here's a few ways I like to do it:

Rotating list of effects that change every round

Huge list of options the boss can choose from for one of their effects with no repeats

Some sort of meter that increases and decreases based on what's happening in the fight and modifies the boss' abilities

Ozyas summoned new monsters every round and could customize the statblocks with a bunch of quick templates I whipped together, and in his second phase he started alternating between scaling the to hit/damage of his tentacle attack, the reach of his spear attack, and applying extra buffs to his summons.

REWARD GOOD PLAY These next two kind of tie together but the core idea here is that it's okay if a boss is a bit easy, as long as it makes your players work for it.

This can include things like ways to trivialize certain parts of the encounter as long as the players utilize them, typically at the cost of advancing other parts of the fight.

I knew that Ozyas was going to be a long fight, so I gave my players the ability to heal to full health, as an action, whenever they wanted. They were fighting inside Ozyas' body, and he was a generous host. However, any time they healed, he would be healed for the same amount. They got around this restriction by hitting him with Chill Touch to disable his own healing whenever people needed to heal, but that obviously had the cost of losing two actions' worth of damage output.

Towards the end of the fight, everyone was still standing thanks to that healing, but as he began to infinitely scale his stats once he reached his second phase and started taking them seriously, they couldn't afford to waste turns healing anymore and the safety net they built up by healing earlier in the fight kept anyone in the party from dying.

PUNISH MISTAKES The range on D&D characters' HP pools and general survivability can be pretty broad. I like to give my bosses a reasonably-heavy hitting melee and some sort of light ranged attack to remind the backliners that they too can die. But there's a third kind of attack.

The great equalizer.

The One Hit Knock Out move.

These need to be telegraphed. There needs to be copious time to get out of the area, or to stop the boss from using it, or whatever the case may be. But any superboss should have a way to threaten any player on equal standing: a move that will always hit if its conditions are met, and puts them clean to 0.

Ozyas' OHKO was Pretender-God-Piercing Strike, where at the end of each turn he would wind up a spear thrust with enough range to hit across the entire map, targeting a 15-foot line through the nearest player. Neither he nor the line could move after that, and if you were still in that line at the start of his next turn, you were done.

It wasn't hard to avoid: just walk like 10 feet and don't get pushed back in by another enemy. They even lined it up to target some of his own allies sometimes. But it forced them to think about positioning and stay moving, and there were a few times where it aaaaalmost caught someone in the line. The prospect of Instant Death really does wonders to ratchet up the tension.

And now, finally, we come to the most important part:

MAKE IT A GAME D&D 5e likes to jerk off while fantasizing about being real. "Catherine what the fuck are you talking about?" What I mean to say is that D&D makes a fumbling attempt towards a more simulationist style of game, trying to distance itself from the fact that it is, in fact, a game. It tries to comport itself like reality, such that every part of its combat makes sense in-universe, and then immediately falls short because it can't be assed to indulge in actual simulationism.

It is my belief that if you're going to spend 4 hours fighting a boss, and one of the boss mechanics doesn't really make much sense as an in-universe concept but does make the boss more interesting and fun to fight, then that's a perfectly fine mechanic. Obviously finding some way to justify it is preferable, but my bosses prioritize good gameplay over verisimilitude.

The upcoming boss in my campaign has a feature which puts the fight on a ten-round time limit before he begins kicking substantially more ass than he was before (and the prior ass-kickery was indeed already substantial). If this is a desperate fight with his life and his dreams on the line, why doesn't he open with that? If this were a WOTC statblock, barring a mythic trait, that's exactly how it would work. But fuck that, because it would make the fight way less interesting! Now there's time pressure! And sure, the post-round-ten version of the boss is meant to be fled from, not fought, but if he's at a low enough HP it could instead make for an insane climactic finish!

I let my players see the whole statblock before the fight. We talk through all of its abilities, and I'll even point out some of the potential points of complexity and the big risks to watch out for. There's no in-universe justification for why the characters would know this (beyond, perhaps "you're exceptional adventurers and are good at evaluating your foes"): in fact, one of the quintessential examples of classical 5e metagaming is the Guy Who's Read the Monster Manual. I think that's fucking stupid, though. With open statblocks:

Features can be game-warpingly deadly without instantly incurring a TPK born of ignorance. OHKO moves don't feel fair unless the counterplay is known

The players can strategize around the ways in which the boss is going to change throughout the fight

It's fundamentally fair. Some GMs just wait X turns and then let the boss go down when it takes a big, impressive hit (and I fully respect people who do that! That's still more compelling boss design than 5e's normal schlock), but I personally like when numbers have meanings.

You can still hide some information (I like to black out the boss' Mythic Trait, and then only use it if the players stomp the fight too easily), and you can still tweak it to adjust the difficulty, with the difference being that your players know it's being adjusted and how so (which again comes back to my feelings of fairness).

A few other fun mechanics to toss in include stacking debuffs that trigger something horrible at some certain threshold, additional win conditions or lose conditions, and silly little minigames. One trick I particularly enjoy is having my players secretly vote between two or more bad outcomes, and punishing them even more if the vote is tied.

CONCLUSION Your mileage may vary, but I'm hoping at least some of the insights here were useful to you! I have a particular strain of undiagnosed mental illnesses that make me especially predisposed towards piloting huge convoluted intricate bosses with 1k+ word statblocks, and I'm lucky enough to have players who know their shit well enough to play around this bullshit. Find something that works for you and your players.

If you hate 5e combat and think this sounds like way too much work to be worth doing, go play something else, like Pathfinder or Lancer or (heaven forbid) a game that actually struggles to trace its lineage of inspiration back to D&D. Go to itch.io and find some game no one's ever played before, and toss the creator a bit of money. The only way we're making it out of these goddamn Mines of Phandelver is if people try something new from time to time.

On the subject of cool games with cool combat, bear with me as I shill for a friend real quick. If you want a game that cares less about combat as an abstract dick measuring contest and more about combat as a facet of violence and all that that entails, check out [BXLLET> by @rathayibacter.

And, finally, from the bottom of my heart, fuck WOTC. Your books aren't even worth pirating, and the Tarrasque can blow me.

[klbmsw]

Bill King

donretoSps586mc479h00h6t79ig1thagg5ch36hh07141huc4iac1i2a8ui  ·

The Coward & The Hero: A Day of National Disgrace

My stomach churns. The bile rises. Never have I seen a more shameful, more disgraceful occupant of the White House. A man who has so thoroughly soiled the seat of power that even history recoils. A traitor. A thug. A liar. A cheat. And today, a pathetic, desperate, pantomime dictator, trying to stare down the leader of Ukraine—Volodymyr Zelensky, a man who has stood before death, before the smoking ruins of his homeland, and still refuses to bow.

Trump? Trump isn’t fit to lace Zelensky’s boots. The bloated relic of a reality show presidency, slathered in an extra layer of high-polished orange shoe polish, face glowing like a jack-o’-lantern stuffed with state secrets. He sat there playing the part of a South American strongman from the ‘50s, puffed up and empty, all bark and bluster, but no spine, no soul. He thought he could roll over a man who had lived in the trenches of war. But Zelensky has seen real men die. He has heard the whistle of missiles meant to tear him apart. Trump has never heard anything louder than the sound of his own mouth.

So what did the orange tyrant do? He rattled on about Hunter Biden’s laptop. In the presence of a war hero, he ranted like an unhinged lunatic about a hard drive. Idiot speak. Straightjacket talk. A man devoid of vision, reduced to the same old grievances, the same old conspiracy-laced dementia as if the fate of nations could be debated on the level of a Fox News fever dream.

And then, the jester arrived—J.D. Vance, a third-rate clown who came not to stand for anything, but to clean Trump’s boots with his lips. He sat there, all smug obedience, waiting for his cue, eager to please his master in moments of fitful rage. No dignity. No independence. Just another political parasite feeding off the rot. This was one of the most sickening displays of cowardice in American history.

And across the border, Canada’s Trudeau—so often a punching bag for American conservatives—stood tall, shoulder to shoulder with Zelensky, a leader among leaders. He didn’t grovel. He didn’t cower. He didn’t babble like a lunatic about emails or laptops. He stood on the right side of history.

That’s the difference. That’s the stark, gut-wrenching reality.

On one side, men of honor.

On the other, grub worms in suits.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Walter Einenkel at Daily Kos:

Donald Trump nominated former acting attorney general and Trump loyalist Matthew Whitaker to be the United States ambassador to NATO on Wednesday. The ambassador serves as a crucial liaison with our foreign allies, who have criticized Trump’s pro-Russia statements and sentiments during the Russia-Ukraine War. “Matt is a strong warrior and loyal Patriot, who will ensure the United States’ interests are advanced and defended,” Trump said in a statement.  Whitaker is a relic from Trump’s first term, where he began as chief of staff to Attorney General Jeff Sessions before a brief and stormy stint replacing Sessions as acting attorney general. He was in turn replaced by William Barr, then managed to hang on as an adviser in the Justice Department. But it wouldn’t be a Trump pick without a history of dubiousness. Whitaker’s 2013 bid for a Senate seat in his home state of Iowa was a failure. But during that campaign he argued that states could “nullify” federal laws—if they had the "courage" to do so. As University of Texas law professor Stephen Vladeck told CNN in 2018, “Nullification as a serious, mainstream legal argument didn’t survive the Civil War (or the constitutional amendments that followed).”

He subsequently served as a “prominent member” on the advisory board for the Miami-based World Patent Marketing, an “invention promotion” company that was accused of defrauding customers. Whitaker was reportedly “slow to respond to government investigators probing it.” A Florida court ultimately ordered World Patent Marketing to pay out a $25 million settlement and agree to close up shop. After he was publicly critical of special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Trump's campaign activities and Russian interference in the 2016 election, Whitaker’s ascension to acting attorney general set off red flags.

[...] Whitaker then made a combative appearance in front of the House Judiciary Committee, where he refused to answer questions about his conversations with then-President Trump or the potential for obstructing the special counsel’s investigation. It was later reported that Whitaker left the committee hearing and flew off to Mar-a-Lago for a private chitchat with Trump. The Daily Beast published a report detailing how Whitaker spent his days in Washington after the Trump administration ended and he retired from the Department of Justice. While not registered as a lobbyist, Whitaker seems to have been paid by a “dark money” group to lobby for presidential pardons.

Donald Trump taps Matthew Whitaker to serve as the US’s NATO Ambassador.

[xsoulxsilencex]

Well, episode 72 was surely... something.

There's a lot to talk about (especially when it comes to Zwijo and Mitsuko) so if you can't stand seeing anything negative about this episode then better not read any further.

Well, where to start? I guess with the jab at Manabu. Seriously, can't the writers go one episode in this arc without reminding us of Commander Study or clowning on Manabu? And I can't believe that the reason why Manabu can't be in the finals is due to him not entering with his real name. If you never wanted him in the finals in the first place then you should've given him a better reason than that, Bridge.

Yudias and the twins know that Epoch avoids them (or more specifically Yudias) and we see a hint of darkness still in Yudias. This could get interesting if the writers don't screw it up. There's also Yuamu and Yuhi talking about the relic and Yuamu asking Yuhi for a favor we haven't gotten to know what that is exactly yet. Maybe that plays already a role in the next episode. (or in ep 74 which has "road" in its title and Yuamu once again mentions how "this is their road" or whatever after Yuhi got to know about the favor)

Now to the tournament final: Why does Ranran say there's around 8 finalists? How does she not know the exact number? Or does she know better and was told to say this? From the spoilers, we already know we have 10 finalists. At least Manabu is also aware of how weird this is.

And to the biggest topic of the episode: Zwijo and Mitsuko.

Honestly, what the heck? Don't get me wrong: I never expected Zwijo going full mushy mode and say he missed Mitsuko and he loves her too and all that shit. This is still Zwijo so he will never be super emotional and say cheesy stuff. But whenever Mitsuko asked him if he has something to say to her or if he remembers their first meeting, he just said "no". That's it. They meet each other for the first time after 2 years and he doesn't bother explaining anything. So am I supposed to think that Mitsuko doesn't matter at all to Zwijo? Was she just a tool like Chupataro but he kept her longer with him for some reason?

Speaking of "meeting each other for the first time": Seriously, what was that backstory? Mitsuko accidently bumped into Zwijo's space ship, he said sorry and she went full delusional mode and thought he wants her to live with him? *sigh* Why do the writers suddenly turn Mitsuko in some kind of Ranze 2.0.? Sure, her "love vision" is just for Zwijo and not every guy around her. But we never saw it as bad as now. Like there was nothing until ep 41 and even then, the way she saw Zwijo was still with him frowning which we are used to. But now, she imagines him all smiling charmingly?

Tbh, I don't really understand why Zwijo even accepted Mitsuko to live with him. Like he sees this 3 meters tall lady for the first time, she wants to be with him due to her delusions and he just accepts it? Why? He could've just told her to leave him alone or push her away or simply ditch her without looking back. But no, he took her with him. Tbf, we just got Mitsuko's POV on their first meeting but I don't think Mitsuko would have forgotten it if Zwijo had been totally against it. Now I'm sure some will say "maybe Zwijo saw some use in Mitsuko which is why he was okay with her" but again: Why would he accept her to live in his space ship along with him? Just because Mitsuko wanted to live with him together doesn't mean he had to do this. He could've found a random house or so for her (or tell her that living together isn't possible but spending time together is fine) and still use her as his tool but he didn't. There's also the question where the heck all of Zwijo's people were including Myuda and Dinois during the time Mitsuko lived with him. On the battlefield? Somewhere else?

And speaking of Dinois: 1. why was she suddenly with Zwijo, 2. why did Zwijo use her ace monster and 3. why did nobody give a shit that a desk is suddenly talking and moving? Are everyone in Mutsuba Town so used to aliens now, they think a talking furniture piece is normal too or an alien?? But yeah, Zwijo using Heavenstar doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he do that? He has enough monsters that could be used for a new fusion. I did think of the possibility of Zwijo wanting to provoke Mitsuko with this to lure the darkness (but then, Dinois must have told him that Mitsuko can't stand her, I doubt Zwijo found that out himself) but we also see him taking Darkness Sansara away from Mitsuko which Yuamu speculates on that he maybe did that to prevent her from getting consumed by darkness. Which would mean that Zwijo does actually care for Mitsuko? At least a tiny bit? Or am I supposed to believe that Zwijo just took Sansara for himself since he later said that he thinks that it can bring back memories and he saw some use in it?

Ofc, Zwijo defeats Mitsuko and Mitsuko falls for him again - due to her delusions of thinking he says he loves her too. Come on, don't do this to her, Bridge. And ofc this can't end in those two making up since Zwijo just angers Mitsuko again with not remembering how they met for the first time and then she falls down the pit. I did a post before by saying how much this duel reminds me of Roa vs Getta and I'm still standing by this. (and Roa still gets at least points for telling Getta that he's a great friend to him - all Zwijo does is tell Mitsuko she "did well" and "good work")

Look, I don't say Zwijo has to reciprocate Mitsuko's feelings for him. He doesn't owe her any love just because she is in love with him. And I'm honestly not believing in them becoming a canon couple anymore (because yugioh rarely cares for proper romances anyway). But is it too much to ask for Zwijo appreciating Mitsuko as a friend? This guy doesn't have a single deep bond with someone who isn't from his own kind. Yudias has a bunch of non-Velgearian friendships who helped him understand things better, why can't Zwijo at least have one with Mitsuko too? I've also seen some saying that Mitsuko "forced" herself into Zwijo's life and while she did have her delusions, Zwijo isn't some shy, weak kid who can't speak for himself. Again, if he can't stand Mitsuko or feels uncomfortable around her then why did he even accept her to live with him together in the first place? You can't tell me he couldn't tell no to her. This is still Zwijo we're talking about - the guy who let Mitsuko do work for him so Idk how Mitsuko is now the one who forced Zwijo to keep her with him and he had no chance to escape her? You really think she has that much power over him? He could've also asked any of his own Velgearian soldiers to be still with him to work as a henchman on Earth or could've looked for other aliens who wouldn't have felt the need to be close to him like Chupataro so needing Mitsuko as a henchwoman would've been redundant.

The way the relationship between Zwijo and Mitsuko is now is just frustrating. If Zwijo just straight up told Mitsuko that he doesn't love her or that she should stay away from him, this chapter could be done and Mitsuko could move on. But we don't have that. Instead I fear for Mitsuko doing it like Getta (when it came to Roa) that she might be angry at Zwijo again rn but she will return to him if she thinks he is saying something she could interpret as him actually loving her or needing her. And I really don't want this shit again. Either have Zwijo fall in love with Mitsuko eventually, have him reject her but they still stay friends or do a clean cut of him telling her she should stop approaching him. Mitsuko won't stop reaching for him as long as Zwijo doesn't make it crystal clear what he really thinks of her. Maybe this is a hot take for some but it is partly his fault if Mitsuko still has hopes for them together. Like get your damn point across, Zwijo! Tell her straight in her face to get lost if she really never meant anything to you other than a tool you had some use for a while but now you want her to leave you alone. Heck, even insult her if nothing else works to make it obvious to her that you see nothing in her.

Next episode is Asaka vs Tell, Rovian vs Yuna and Nyandestar vs Yuamu. Also hinted Zwijo vs Yuhi but that could be pushed to episode 74. And I want Yuhi to beat Zwijo since I want to see Yudias vs Yuhi as the arc final duel and Yuhi being the one helping Yudias to get rid of the darkness in him. After all, they're best friends and this arc had some build up for them to face each other in the finals. I would be disappointed if they just did nothing with them now.

[talesofdricarro]

Tales of Dracarrio: Act 1 Session 4 recap

As the dust settles, the party is drowned in a wave of cheers. Brightening spirits and hope filled the arena as the slaves saw these strangers come and conquer the source of their sorrow and pain. Even if the party took a little longer than expected to release the townsfolk from their bondage, they were grateful all the same.

The fattest of the slaves approached the party with a cheerful demeanor and who he had to thank for this heroic rescue. But instead of giving them their names, the party gestured to Sean Giggles. The still injured town fool who fought bravely to save his people. After a short argument on how the townsfolk treated Sean, the party calmly brought Sean back to his childhood home where he could recover. As they walk the dirt streets of the now liberated town of Fairgrove, Phaven begins to scan through the notes he discovered on the corpses of the wardens. One is written in a language he cannot understand and the other bears the mark of a Drow seal. As he reads through it he discovers they were ordered to eventually betray the organization they were working for and take the relic the other wardens were tasked in discovering. Luckily, Richard actually knew how to read the other note, and it’s actually a poem written in Spanish. Speaks of an ancient prophecy and a legendary instrument said to grant the user unimaginable power. As the party lays Sean to rest in his childhood bed,

It is here where the party finally realized why the townsfolk weren’t too fond of Sean Giggles. For when he awoke from his slumber an hour after the fight, Sean’s true voice was revealed. The party's reaction to this persona of Sean, commonly known as Sad Circus Sean, came with mixed feelings. Sean is able to conceal this version of himself with magical clown makeup the party quickly asked him to put back on.

It’s here when the Mayor of the town bardged his way into Sean’s house with great news. Although Vincent Footloose seemed to not understand that tensions between Sean and the townsfolk have been mended and quickly tripped the fat mayor as he entered, crushing Sean Giggles.

After an awkward situation, the party demanded the mayor to pay up for the contract they took to save this town from goblins. The mayor, not knowing what they mean, Sean speaks up and reveals that he was the one who set up the contract. And they’d have to go back to Newberry to collect their reward.

The mayor then offered the party a place to stay as well as a feast in their honor for their heroic deed. So as the night dragged on, they all were showered in praise, drinks, music and food the goblins left behind. The townsfolk finally were able to rest easy tonight thanks to the party. As the night went on, Richard found out a little bit more about his situation. Finding out he could be in even more danger than he thinks he is and if he wishes to find some answers, he’s going to have to seek them in the far away land of Cordova. Vincent also learned something that night. A legendary alchemist who’s said to be unmatched within the capital city of Cittadina. Someone who might be able to help him find his goals. As the fire burns bright and people begin to pass out from the goblin wine, the party end their day with full stomachs, and surrounded by joy.

In the morning, the party said their goodbyes. They tried to convince Sean giggles to come along with them, but he had a town to protect and rebuild. But said he’d see them again one day. And so the party ventured off, back to the town where they all met. Would they all separate once this job is done? Tensions surly did rise not even 2 days into their adventure. But before any of them could make a decision, they met an old man struggling to walk down the road as he carried a large backpack. As they approached, the party learned he was headed to Newberry as well, and was going to stock up on more ale from the Drunken Dryad. The very Inn they all met just 3 days ago. Worried that this old man isn’t gonna make it, Eblech offers to carry the old man on his back. But as Eblech picked up the old man, he realized that the pack he carried was completely empty. Just how exhausted was this old man? Richard and Vincent realize that the next stop would be the tower where they murdered that other old homeless man yesterday. So they would venture ahead of the rest of the party to clean up the mess just in case the old man finds the crime scene. They clean up the mess just as the others make it to the tower. And as the sun sets, they all think it best they all rest for the night. And as they all set up camp and drift off to sleep, the night seemed very peaceful. With everyone taking turns keeping watch, the night goes pretty uneventful. But as everyone wakes up. Migraines… back pain… sore muscles and achy bones affects everyone except for Zephyr for some reason. The party isn’t quite sure everyone is so exhausted, and when they go to wake up the old man they helped get here, they find out he died in his sleep. What is causing their exhaustion? How will they make it back to town safely? And will they be able to work together to solve this mystery and come out on the other side alive? A new adventure starts now.

[imperfectly360]

You look like a horror movie. You look like a clown. I knooooooewww there's no hoops for you. You drew a circle and put yourself in the middle. No one wants to watch this show. What can you draw with CHALK. (stolen images stolen images) you look like winding driveway. Dadadadaaaaa this balcony is so expandable it's like a graveyard I have a graveyard of things I didn't like things I didn't like. RIP first to go is YESTERDAY. and yesterday's yesterday. And yesterday's yesterday yesterday. There's never a tomorrow. That's how our heavenly Father likes it. We cannot ask for anything. Heavenly Father does weird things with on demand stuff. He likes other weird stuff. Like for example saying goodbye. Good bye to the past. Good bye heavenly Father. Good bye this old house. Good bye social media. Good bye Tumblr. Good bye spy kids. Good bye moody bulletin board. Good bye thumb tacks and staplers. Goodbye schizophrenia. It was nice to get to know you. Goodbye talking to inanimate objects. Good bye living relics. Goodbye passive past. Goodbye monsters and demons. Good bye saying goodbye like you're a loser. Good bye to shame type stuff. Good bye to bitchy fishy. Good bye to jumping through conclusions and conclusions. Good bye to DAD. goodbye to massive Webby mother figures. Good bye to sleaze and sneezes. GB to hairgel. GB to GB. GB to shopping CENTER. GB to vanilla and darling karling. GB to yallers. GB to ur ex and acronyms. GB to Julie Andrews. GB to hot tea? GB to tiny village. GB to Christmas displays. GB to hoarders. GB to vision viewing boards. GB to all that you have to offer. GB to being slickity. GB to fun and games. GB to ego and identity. GB to being proud of one another. GB to dainty ornaments. GB to your packet facket. GB to fair well. GB to kitten games. GB to being THIRTEEN. GB to whatever the paddle boat you call yourself. GB.

[happy-paintings]

Buy Cheerful and Funny Paintings to Cheer Up Your Mood

Paintings are a medium through which artists communicate their feelings, ideas, and thoughts. Artists are able to convey complicated ideas and tell tales via the use of color, composition, and style. They frequently function as relics from culture and historical documents. They encapsulate the ideals, aesthetics, and social mores of a certain era and location. A great deal of well-known paintings shed light on the history and customs of the times in which they were produced. 

They make a big difference in the cultural and creative environment, improve our lives, and deepen our awareness of the world. For millennia, people have been captivated by Paintings of Dolphins.  Their significance in human civilization is complex, involving aspects related to culture, emotions, education, and aesthetics. These perceptive and gregarious animals are frequently portrayed in art as representations of joy, freedom, and beauty.  

The dolphin painting "The Ninth Wave" by Ivan Aivazovsky is among the most well-known. This striking picture shows some dolphins surfing a huge wave. The picture, which has been seen as a sign of resiliency and optimism, is a monument to the strength and beauty of the natural world.  Therefore, pick a respectable painting supplier like Happy Paintings if you're seeking for the greatest site to buy dolphin paintings. 

Buy Cheerful Paintings to Cheer Up Your Mood

Joyful paintings are a popular choice for decorating rooms where people want to feel cheerful and inspired since they have the ability to boost and brighten one's mood. Whether in public areas, companies, or homes, bright artworks may foster a happy and upbeat mood. Paintings with a cheery theme are typically created with the intention of uplifting and cheering people, providing a visual escape from the strains of daily life. 

Usually avoiding ominous or unsettling themes, these paintings concentrate on evoking a happy and carefree environment. Select a trustworthy service provider like Happy Paintings if you like to Vrolijke schilderijen kopen. 

Our upbeat paintings are pieces of art that inspire pleasure, enthusiasm, and optimism. They frequently feature happy topics, vivid colors, and an all-around upbeat and joyful vibe. The intention behind these paintings is to make the people who see them feel happy and satisfied.  

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Funny paintings are pieces of art meant to make people laugh or feel funny. They frequently include strange or surprising components, or they could make mockery of society or the arts. Funny paintings are a wonderful way to bring some humor into your house or place of business.  These paintings frequently have comedy as their main focus, and in order to create their humorous impact, they may use a variety of methods, styles, and subject matter.  

These paintings provide pleasure and enjoyment, and they may be a welcome and cheerful addition to a collection of artwork or a setting that promotes comedy and laughing. Funny paintings are those that depict well-known comic figures, including clowns, jesters, or comical archetypes. 

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You may feel secure knowing that you are obtaining fine art that is placed correctly when you work with painters. Working with a paintings supplier is a terrific alternative if you're seeking for the ideal paintings for your environment. We can assist you in selecting the ideal components for your house or place of business and guarantee that they are fitted properly.

More Blog : Colored Cow and Painted Jellyfish Paintings: Buy to Enhance Your Wall Beauty\

[heleneplays]

very sexy of them <3

@heleneplays they attac, protecc, have each other's back and also very important! Think Maria is a snack

[heleneplays]

girl help the tall ones are steadily increasing

IN ORDER | shortie squad spillanes - helene (me) & calliope ( @horreurific ) tol team spillanes - kamille ( @h-e-s-1 ) & bella ( @mira-shard )

[randomnameless]

Replying to an ask, I was realising -

We know more about Glenn (Govan Fraldarius?), the brother of a secondary character who died protecting one of the primary ones, than about Supreme Leader’s sibling who was the original heir of the Empire.

Supreme Leader, iirc, was born as Ionius’s ninth child, or fifth one? Something like that?

What about the First child, the heir of the Emperor, son of his wife (Supreme Leader mentions how her mother wasn’t Ionius’s wife, meaning he had one, it wasn’t just, Anselma) ? What about said wife?

Ionius was yeeted away in Nopes, but damn if we don’t know jack shit about Adrestia.

Sure sure, we know Leopold’n’Waldemar, yay - but bar the duo of clowns?

Rafiel is the first prince of Serenes, Reyson and Leanne often mention their older sister Lilia, but no one ever mentions Supreme Leader’s oldest sibling? Ionuis’s first child? Supreme Leader’s stepmother(s)?

Why would Ferdie have developed a rivalry with Supreme Leader, if she had older siblings already in line for the throne? Why would Hubert - the Vestra heir - be “given” to Supreme Leader, if the Imperial Heir was already around?

The more I think about it, the less Adrestia makes sense, or at least the Adrestia we were presented with.

I think those siblings really existed, but their absence in the plot maybe mean the “Vestra” tasked with overlooking, let’s call him (it’s a him because it’s Adrestia!) Hans 2, heir to the throne, wasn’t from Hubert’s dad’s line, but from a cadet line? Cadet line had a child “around the age” of Hans 2, so that cadet branch would have become the most important one, had Hans 2 survived, because cadet Vestra would have become the “Vestra of the Emperor” while Hubert would only be the Vestra of the ninth/fifth princess.

Ditto for Ludwig ?

He’d have championned Ferdie to show his talent and might and “nobility” to Hans 2 instead of Supreme Leader, but when Hans 2 was Arundel’d and only Supreme Leader survived, he switched his focus?

In FE Tellius, in FE10, Tibarn talks about it, passingly. But in FE Fodlan, there’s no rumours of a “plague” having befell the imperial family, mainly the “series of tragedies” in Rhea’s book.

Hans 2?

Even Rhea’s dead siblings are more relevant, they appear in the form of relics ! But Hans 2? His existence blows a hole in the Adrestia we know, its political landscape and Supreme Leader herself.

Of course you should compare what can be compared, but when ASOIAF’s Ned goes “this shit should never have been mine to dealt with, it should have been my dead older brother’s”, this is never mentionned in FE16.

We have Rhea feeling as inedaquate, being trusted in this position as the “Guardian” of Fodlan because her mom was deboned, but Supreme Leader never says this regarding Hans 2.

Ionius himself never mentions Hans 2 or his other children.

Tl;Dr : FE16 wrote a story where the Adrestian Empire’s heir is less important to people than House Fraldarius - a vassal of House Blaiddyd - ‘s first son.

GG guys, 10k years of lore.

[glouris]

What I tell myself when I get sad about Heimdall being gone, tinfoil hat edition

First of all, please note that I’m delusional and this should be taken as a collection of cool little details and theories, not as proof that the mf will be back in the next game. You never know of course, but don’t let me set you up for disappointment. 

So. Weirdly enough, Heimdall seems to have parallels with, you’ll never guess it, Garm. Kratos’ confrontations with them go very similarly: he is put against them because of Atreus, who persuades Kratos not to kill them, attempts at pacifying them go poorly, and Kratos does kill them after all. By choking them. Both lie on their sides afterwards. 

While Kratos and Atreus are chasing Garm, his appearances are followed by Atreus asking about the spear, or them discussing Heimdall - it’s a constant back and forth. And, as far as I remember, Garm is the only boss in the game, apart from Heimdall himself, that uses the spear as a mandatory gimmick. 

Garm’s ability to make realm tears made me wonder why we never see Heimdall travel by Bifrost. We see regular einherjar soldiers do it, but Heimdall only travels with Hugin. Why? He’s supposed to be the closest to Bifrost, be able to use it in its full capacity and then some. Is he being restricted, or is it just a minor plot inconsistency? Either way, Garm’s realm tears could have paralleled Heimdall’s Bifrost, especially when in some interpretations the mythological Heimdall is the personification of Yggdrasil - the man is THE realm travel. I guess the gow version is still a master of realm shifts. And Bifrost's guardian. 

What I’m getting at with all that Garm deal is that if this parallel is not something that I just clowned myself into and is a legit thing, then shouldn’t Garm’s resurrection and his transformation into Fenrir be foreshadowing for Heimdall’s return? Or not, and the parallel is only about Atreus carelessly causing something, which Kratos then ends. I really don’t know.

Then again, the situation with another pair of wolves, Sköll and Hati, happens because Heimdall steals the moon holding relic from Helheim. Their episode is followed by his, as well as the fight with him happens right after you summon Sköll to clear a path into Heimdall’s boss arena. A bit too much coincidental plot intersections involving Heimdall, legendary wolves and Helheim for my taste.

And, my personal favorite - the gow 2018 horn mystery. Full clown makeup here, but I think it would be cool if that was Heimdall, somehow. Giants called him “ᚺᛟᚱᚾᛒᛖᚱᛁ” (“horn bearer” in my sloppy translation) on Atreus’ mural, and he was prophesied to sound Gjallarhorn to open all paths and start Ragnarok. He didn’t get to, as we all know. But you see, the Giants seem to have this tendency of being right even when they are wrong. The prophecy said that Tyr, the god of war, will unite the realms and lead the armies against Odin. Tyr didn’t get to, but Kratos, another god of war, did. The prophecy said that Atreus’ father will die in his hands. Kratos didn’t, Odin, the All-Father, did. 

If Heimdall was meant to sound the horn, perhaps he will, perhaps he did. When Jörmungandr is called with the horn, the water drops, revealing new paths. Kratos was carrying Atreus to Freya when they heard the horn, and was going to Helheim afterwards (again with the Helheim, I swear) to get what they need to save the boy. If it was really Heimdall, then that falls right into what the prophecy said: sound the horn, open the path (water drops after the serpent moves, new paths are open, + the boat by Freya’s house is washed ashore, where Kratos reveals to Atreus that they are gods), start Ragnarok (save Atreus, who’s always the one that puts the events into motion - Baldur’s death, Sköll and Hati chasing his arrow, Kratos fighting Heimdall and getting Gjallarhorn, which then calls Surtr… you get it. Heimdall is the one that pointed it out too, and was right). Plus, there’s definetly a mural behind him on his promo, so idk maybe it’s not THAT far of a reach. He has to have this mural there for something, right? 

So yeah, I’m somewhere at my bargaining stage of grief. I’ll be accepting that he’s not coming back only when Santa Monica throws it in my face by not even mentioning him in Atreus’ game.

[heleneplays]

i love this image so much

[beevean]

Castlevania’s “true finales” from least to most favorite

How to get them

6) Portrait of Ruin: find the Sanctuary spell in the Sandy Grave portrait using the Toad Morph, then use it during the fight with Stella and Loretta: this means using Jonathan to protect Charlotte for 15 seconds, because if she gets hit she has to cast the spell again. Moreover, at least one of them has to be in the spell radius. Finding the spell itself is not too hard (the room is memorable enough), but casting it is by far the most annoying part of the game: Stella and Loretta are extremely aggressive, and Jonathan has to fend them alone.

5) Dawn of Sorrow: collect the Axe Armor soul, the Killer Clown soul, and the Ukoback soul, unlock the passage in the Demon Guest House, defeat Paranoia, then go inside the mirror in the second Dario fight and defeat Aguni; after that, equip Mina’s Talisman before going to Celia. There are absolutely no clues in the game that those souls in particular have any relevance, but the game will tell you that you needed the Talisman if you forget about it (and besides, if you don’t, you unlock Julius Mode anyway).

4) Order of Ecclesia: find and save all 13 villagers. Very easy, and moreover the bad ending shows you the rooms the remaining villagers are in, giving you an important clue.

3) Symphony of the Night: find the Gold Ring (defeat the Succubus) and the Silver Ring (traverse the spike room in the Catacombs to find the Spike Breaker, then go through the spiked corridor in the Royal Chapel to meet Maria), equip them in the clock room, speak to Maria in the center of the castle, then equip the Holy Goggles during the fight with Richter and destroy Shaft’s orb. A somewhat convoluted process, but the game does its best to hint you in the right direction. However, there is a mistranslation in the original English script that makes matters more confusing (the full message is “Wear in clock tower”, but the clock tower is different from the clock room in the Marble Corridor).

2) Harmony of Dissonance: find all 6 Dracula Relics, equip both Juste’s and Maxim’s bracelets, and fight Maxim in Castle B. Overall very intuitive (if you forget the bracelets, Juste will hint at them in the Worst Ending), although some Relics are in cryptic places.

1) Aria of Sorrow: collect the Flame Demon soul and the Succubus soul, and equip those and the Giant Bat soul during the fight with Graham. There are books that clue you in, and those powers make Soma resemble Dracula, so it makes perfect sense.

What you get

7) Chaotic Realm (Aria of Sorrow): boring in all aspects. The black and white aesthetic just seems washed out, the music barely conveys the chaos, the design is a spiral to the centre (not having a map is supposed to spook you but you don't need it), you just fight strong enemies until the end. The final boss is an eyesore too.

6) Mine of Judgement (Dawn of Sorrow): pretty much a straight line to the bottom. Catchy (if not unfitting) music, and Death is the boss, but eh.

5) Extra paintings (Portrait of Ruin): they're fine. They're slightly modified, harder versions of the paintings you had to go through. Not much to say about them, except that two of them have excellent music.

4) The Abyss (Dawn of Sorrow): conceptually similar to the Chaotic Realm, but much more interesting. It has some serious hell vibes, quite fittingly, and both enemies and obstacles are painful. Menace isn’t a particularly fun final boss, though.

3) Inverted Castle (Symphony of the Night): a classic, and somewhat divisive. The castle is clunky to navigate and you're forced to turn into a bat often, Final Toccata plays too often, and the openness is at first overwhelming. However, subsequient playthroughs benefit from the flexibility, only a few areas are mandatory, and if you do bother to explore all of it, you will find the most gamebreaking weapons.

2) Julius Belmont (Aria of Sorrow): hard but very fun fight.

1) Dracula's Castle (Order of Ecclesia): pretty much a second game hidden behind the main one. Very well designed castle, intuitive to explore, with memorable bosses, and some of the best glyphs in the game.

[theofficersacademy]

The harvest star passes, and under the shroud of lengthening night, the broad silhouette of migrating wyvern flocks obscure the light of the moon. Men call out to their sons to take up axes and nets, and work tirelessly to cull the last of the fish and firewood before the first fingers of winter’s frost find purchase in the hardening earth.

You have made fine progress so far in mapping this territory. The nobility is quite pleased with your discoveries; those associated with the Church, however, seem disheartened that no relics of Seiros’ have been found yet. You'll need to return to your studies by the end of this moon. That means fitting in as much exploration and discovery as you can!

Additions to the Mission Board

Blue Lions Mission Board

Scouts returning from afield have been returning with reports equally conflicting and strange: some say there’s a beast of a man running about with an axe for an arm, and that he is seen only by day, and only from a distance, as though he knows to evade pursuers. Others say that no, the large bipedal beast appears only at night and wields a stick, alongside all manner of crude tools that seem to suggest the intelligence to set small traps. In the name of research, authorities want the beast captured, preferably alive, but if it starts to become a nuisance... [ Grants Lance +1 ]  

Recent heavy rains have made the terrain here unstable, resulting in a sudden sinkhole. Interestingly enough, the scouts report that they spotted manmade structures built underground–rusted iron and wood supports that seem to have made up an old mineshaft. To the Faerghus nobility, the prospect of ore and minerals to exploit cannot be ignored. As you investigate the mines, you quickly learn that you aren’t alone–pale, tired men drag around wheelbarrows filled with glowing ore. They seem to be, well, a little more transparent than the usual person. Maybe you should say hello?  

It’s not only the land that’s uncharted: where there’s new territory, there’s sure to be new flora and fauna to catalogue, too! Unknown species await those eager to turn a researcher’s eye upon their surroundings. You’ve been equipped with sleds and carts and horses with which to pull them. Load up your charges with your findings, whether that be clippings or sketches of plants, or critters you’ve lured with a tasty morsel before capturing. However, the Church advises to practice stewardship of the environment, and to not disturb more than is strictly necessary. [ Grants Riding +1 ]

Non-Mission Task Board

The circus rolls into town! The nearby town square turns into a wonderland of festivity and fun, with fairy floss in every stall and every kid excited for tonight’s performance. Only one little problem with that last part–a bunch of performers are nowhere to be found, and without them the show can’t go on! Whether it’s as a trapeze artist or a jester getting pie thrown at their face, they need every extra-talented athlete they can get their hands on. Will you put on a clown nose and make the children happy?  

It’s that time of year once again! The Battle of the Eagle and Lion rears its head on the horizon, and you know what that means: it’s time to booby-trap scope out the playing field ahead of time and see if you can’t give your chosen house a leg up on the competition. Trouble is, it looks like someone’s beaten you to the punch! And these aren’t any old traps either - some of these look downright deadly. Escape the gauntlet in one piece as best as you can! [ Any Skill +1 ] [note: this is NOT the Battle of the Eagle and Lion competition; that will happen later]

[ravioverse]

The Legend of Hilda: A Link Between Worlds

The Hero

When his duplicate woke up, Sketch really had to put on a show. Letting loose a stream of word vomit wasn’t hard - and it wasn’t like Sketch cared if he came across as a weirdo - but there were some things that made even him cringe. Pretending to think that the clearly-lived-in house was abandoned? It was a wonder that the guy didn’t call him out for being a liar. Though, to be fair, he did give him a weird look before seeming to decide that he had bigger things to worry about and ignoring the comment. Link was definitely in a rush to get back on his feet and out the door - which Sketch might’ve again taken as a sign of ‘heroism’ if he hadn’t already known that he’d run directly into a wall. He just pretended to be surprised when Link absently ranted about ‘that clown’ and ‘turned Seres into a painting,’ and enthusiastically encouraged him to get on his way.

But just before he left, Sketch had an idea. He stopped Link as he was leaving and asked - begged, really, he didn’t have any shame - if he could stay in his house for the time being. It wasn’t as explosive a reaction as it could’ve been, probably because of the timing, but a frustrated, “Sure, whatever,” was significantly better than the several outright refusals that his double first gave, and would absolutely keep him hidden from Yuga. It also gave him an excuse to push the wall-merging bracelet onto Link, no matter how little he seemed to actually want it. At least it was easy to call it some kind of ancient relic and not a probably-priceless magic item.

Once he was gone, Sketch breathed a sigh of relief that things had gone that well. He and Sheerow would have a place to stay, Yuga still didn’t know he was there, and even if no one else came around, there was one brave idiot out there doing his best. It was... something, at the very least. But he had to get ready for any other, more promising heroes to come by. There was work to do.

He first pushed most of the furniture aside and set up several tables in a circle around the house. It didn’t have to be anything fancy, the magical items could speak for themselves; any hero worth his salt would have to recognize their value. The last thing he did was build a sign to put outside Link’s house so any potential heroes would recognize it as a match with the signs outside places of interest, rather than his hood. He was sure it’d work.

A guy dressed almost entirely in yellow was passing by as Sketch had just finished putting up the sign; all it took was one mention of magic items for him to come browsing, and the first impression was pretty decent. He said he was the descendant of a sage and absolutely capable of putting a stop to whatever was going on, which Sketch thought was promising. Less promising was the fact that he made a beeline for the Sand Rod of all things. Sketch had fond memories of using all of his items in the Lucedine Glade, but the Sand Rod was objectively the least generally useful item in the inventory. And this guy was going east? The closest thing to sand there was dirt, which the Sand Rod would have absolutely no effect on.

As the great sage left, Sketch muttered to Sheerow to keep tabs on that one. He had a feeling they’d be getting it back soon.